In the two months since David was killed, I've found myself living in this strange new world where "normal" is anything but. I want to scream and yell and I can't. I want to cry. And I do a lot of that. I want answers, and I have none. Instead I am lied to and brushed aside by the very same people who I am supposed to trust for a complete and thorough investigation. This new world is scary, unstable and unjust.

Mostly, I want to hug my son. I want to understand what was going through his mind during the 15 hours he stood alone. I want to know that he knew how much I loved him and always will. I want to know if he had feelings of anger or peace in his final moments. 

I want to know he won't be forgotten.